This book is about surviving grief, and charts a journey of exceptional love. Now, aged 77, the burden of ambition has left the author and she has, with the help of close confidantes, reconfigured her life. Petal Ashmole Winstanley grew up in Perth, Western Australia with two great loves: her mother and classical ballet. Spurred on by her natural talent and ambition to dance, she made the voyage on the SS Canberra to London in the swinging '60s-the start of a vibrant career encompassing the glamour, global travel and trials and tribulations of a life on the stage. Her journey has been one of creative fulfilment often offset by deep sadness and loss: that of a longed-for baby, and the ultimate grief of losing three husbands. Petal speaks with gut-wrenching honesty of the brutal circumstances leading to each of their deaths, and the heartbreaking aftermath of a grief that would not ease. Repeated hospice experiences allow her to share an intimate knowledge of what happens before, during and after death-and have made her an advocate for early AIDS and cancer detection, and a fierce believer in Dignity in Dying. Sometimes shocking but frequently funny, Petal's story of sorrow is peppered with optimism as she recounts how, even at the gates of hell, she found the strength to get up, dress up and show up, sporting a dash of red lipstick.

Petal Ashmole Winstanley was born in Australia in 1946, and left home at the age of 18 to pursue a career in ballet. After working with London Dance Theatre, PACT Ballet and The Royal Winnipeg Ballet she joined Sadler's Wells Royal Ballet under the directorship of Peter Wright in 1975, later promoted to the rank of soloist. Petal retired as a dancer in 1984, and was immediately appointed as Assistant to the Artistic Director of the Australian Ballet-creating her first full-length ballet, 'Snugglepot and Cuddlepie' with the company in 1988. She went on to choreograph several further works, including ballets and divertissements for schools and companies worldwide. In addition to her work in ballet management, Petal has extensive experience in coaching, teaching and producing, which, during the latter part of her career, took her to five continents. She worked in this capacity for most major ballet schools and companies worldwide, including ten years teaching the world's finest young dancers at The Royal Ballet School.