It's On Me

Informationen zum Autor Sara Kuburic is an existential psychotherapist, consultant, writer, and columnist for USA Today . She was born in Yugoslavia and raised in Canada. She is passionate about helping people seek change and live authentic, free, and meaningful lives. Her interest in psychology stems from her personal experience living through wars, navigating complex relationships, and continually learning what it means to be human. Klappentext A masterful guide to help all those who are building self-awareness.yung pueblo, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Lighter A revolutionary guide to identifying self-lossthat feeling of being adrift, disconnected from your true Selfand discovering the freedom that comes from taking responsibility for how we live and who we become, from an existential psychotherapist, USA Today columnist, and Instagram's popular Millennial Therapist So many of us feel lonely, unfulfilled, or trappedin our roles and relationships, in cycles of self-sabotage and bad decisions, by our patterns and misguided attempts to feel happy or to feel something . According to existential psychotherapist Sara Kuburic, it doesn't have to be so difficult. Really. The answer is found in facing ourselveswhatever version that might be, regardless of whether we like the person we see reflected back to us. It's about accepting full responsibility for the choices and actions that create our reality. It's about finally taking ownership of this person we call our Self. It's about realizing that it's on us to figure out the two most essential questions: Who am I and Why am I here? and then to live accordingly. In It's on Me , Kuburic unpacks self-loss, giving us new vocabulary to understand this rarely talked about experience and offers tools she's used for years to help clients recover. Self-loss becomes apparent when we do not recognize ourselves in our actions, words, or relationships; when we lose sight of who we truly are, and feel the pain and emptiness from performing or observing life, rather than living it. Guiding us through her unique process of self-reflection, acceptance, and discovery, Kuburic proves that we can • experience but not feel overpowered by our emotions • establish a healthy connection to our bodies • set loving boundaries to define ourselves and heal our relationships • declutter our physical and mental environments to create space for our true Self to thrive • find meaning and purpose in a seemingly meaningless world Revelatory and empowering, Kuburic shows how we can stop sleepwalking our way through the lives we don't want and step into our most vibrant, authentic, and meaningful Self. In doing so, we unlock a deep sense of connection to our innermost being, and to those around us. Leseprobe Chapter 1 What Is Self-­Loss? Here's a visualization I often do with my clients to give them a sense of what self-­loss feels like: Imagine you're alone, sitting in a worn, leather armchair in the middle of a room. In front of you is a chipped coffee table straining to support the weight of the numerous dusty books that you intended to read but never found time for. You have a cup of coffee that has grown cold, the milk curdled on the surface. On the side table next to you is a vintage green lamp, merely ornamental ever since the room has been set ablaze. The flames are creeping up the walls, peeling the wallpaper and sending parachutes of ash in midair. The flares slowly inch toward you; little sparks burning holes in the rug at your feet. You can barely see through the smog; your lungs fill with smoke, your eyes water. Yet you continue to sit there­paying bills, checking your email, making work deadlines, sending long, upset text messages, or posting inspirational quotes on Instagram...

Klappentext

“A masterful guide to help all those who are building self-awareness.”—yung pueblo, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Lighter

A revolutionary guide to identifying self-loss—that feeling of being adrift, disconnected from your true Self—and discovering the freedom that comes from taking responsibility for how we live and who we become, from an existential psychotherapist, USA Today columnist, and Instagram’s popular “Millennial Therapist”

So many of us feel lonely, unfulfilled, or trapped—in our roles and relationships, in cycles of self-sabotage and bad decisions, by our patterns and misguided attempts to feel happy or to feel something. According to existential psychotherapist Sara Kuburic, it doesn’t have to be so difficult. *Really.

• The answer is found in facing ourselves—whatever version that might be, regardless of whether we like the person we see reflected back to us. It’s about accepting full responsibility for the choices and actions that create our reality. It’s about finally taking ownership of this person we call our “Self.” It’s about realizing that it’s on us to figure out the two most essential questions: “Who am I” and “Why am I here?” and then to live accordingly.

In It’s on Me, Kuburic unpacks “self-loss,” giving us new vocabulary to understand this rarely talked about experience and offers tools she’s used for years to help clients recover. Self-loss becomes apparent when we do not recognize ourselves in our actions, words, or relationships; when we lose sight of who we truly are, and feel the pain and emptiness from performing or observing life, rather than living it. Guiding us through her unique process of self-reflection, acceptance, and discovery, Kuburic proves that we can
• experience but not feel overpowered by our emotions
• establish a healthy connection to our bodies
• set loving boundaries to define ourselves and heal our relationships
• declutter our physical and mental environments to create space for our true Self to thrive
• find meaning and purpose in a seemingly meaningless world

Revelatory and empowering, Kuburic **shows how we can stop sleepwalking our way through the lives we don’t want and step into our most vibrant, authentic, and meaningful Self. In doing so, we unlock a deep sense of connection to our innermost being, and to those around us.

Leseprobe
**Chapter 1

What Is Self-­Loss?

Here’s a visualization I often do with my clients to give them a sense of what self-­loss feels like:

Imagine you’re alone, sitting in a worn, leather armchair in the middle of a room. In front of you is a chipped coffee table straining to support the weight of the numerous dusty books that you intended to read but never found time for. You have a cup of coffee that has grown cold, the milk curdled on the surface. On the side table next to you is a vintage green lamp, merely ornamental ever since the room has been set ablaze.

The flames are creeping up the walls, peeling the wallpaper and sending parachutes of ash in midair. The flares slowly inch toward you; little sparks burning holes in the rug at your feet. You can barely see through the smog; your lungs fill with smoke, your eyes water. Yet you continue to sit there—­paying bills, checking your email, making work deadlines, sending long, upset text messages, or posting inspirational quotes on Instagram—­ignoring your impending death. You hear faint instinctual inner screams. A voice deep inside is urging you to MOVE.

But instead, you convince yourself that “this is fine”; that you are fine, in control, even. That the way you have chosen to live will not hurt you. Your life is threatened, but for some reason or another you don’t see it; you ignore it, or perhaps you’re waiting for someone else to save you. You are too “busy” to save yourself. Or, maybe…