The Beauty of Conflict for Couples

Vorwort

• Campbell and Clarke have a website (thriveinc.com), a blog, a mailing list, and an impressive list of credentials, degrees, and professional connections.

• They work with big clients, including Microsoft, Johnson and Johnson, the US Forest Service, and Seattle Children's Hospital, on teamwork, communication, and conflict resolution.

• They also work with couples on relationship issues in their private practice.

• The authors are faculty members at the Haven, a retreat center in British Columbia, where they lead their "Couples Alive" retreat for people who want more out of their relationship.

Autorentext
CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke have spent 25 years helping their clients resolve difficult conflicts and create stronger relationships. Campbell competed in the Olympics in her early life, then went on to earn an MBA, work for Boeing, and become a certified life coach and mind-body coach. Clarke is a marriage and family counselor and certified equus coach. They're the founders of Thrive Inc., a company dedicated to helping couples, teams, and companies to get unstuck, solve frustrating problems together, and thrive on every level.

Campbell and Clarke have given a TEDx talk on how to manage conflict. They run retreats for couples, including Find Your Mojo in Montana and Couples Alive. They've given presentations on conflict resolution, communication, and creative problem solving at Fortune 100 companies like Johnson & Johnson, Microsoft, AT&T and Nationwide, and at organizations like the Gates Foundation, University of Washington Medical Center, Cray and Los Alamos National Laboratory.

Campbell and Clarke's first book is The Beauty of Conflict, which focuses on workplace/team conflict within companies. The Beauty of Conflict for Couples is their second book, this time focusing on challenges that people in romantic relationships (especially long-term, committed relationships and marriages) face.

CrisMarie and Susan live and work in Northwest Montana. https://www.thriveinc.com/

CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke have spent 25 years helping their clients resolve difficult conflicts and create stronger relationships. Campbell competed in the Olympics in her early life, then went on to earn an MBA, work for Boeing, and become a certified life coach and mind-body coach. Clarke is a marriage and family counselor and certified equus coach. They're the founders of Thrive Inc., a company dedicated to helping couples, teams, and companies to get unstuck, solve frustrating problems together, and thrive on every level.

Campbell and Clarke have given a TEDx talk on how to manage conflict. They run retreats for couples, including Find Your Mojo in Montana and Couples Alive. They've given presentations on conflict resolution, communication, and creative problem solving at Fortune 100 companies like Johnson & Johnson, Microsoft, AT&T and Nationwide, and at organizations like the Gates Foundation, University of Washington Medical Center, Cray and Los Alamos National Laboratory.

Campbell and Clarke's first book is The Beauty of Conflict, which focuses on workplace/team conflict within companies. The Beauty of Conflict for Couples is their second book, this time focusing on challenges that people in romantic relationships (especially long-term, committed relationships and marriages) face.

CrisMarie and Susan live and work in Northwest Montana. https://www.thriveinc.com/

Klappentext

The authors bring over 20 years of experience in family/marriage counseling and relationship coaching to this guide that will show how to communicate more effectively, solve problems as a team, and create more passion, intimacy, and connection in a relationship.

Zusammenfassung
Authors CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke bring over twenty years of experience in family/marriage counseling and relationship coaching to The Beauty of Conflict for Couples. This book will show you how to communicate more effectively, solve problems as a team, and create more passion, intimacy, and connection in your relationship.

Leseprobe
How to discuss hot topicsdifficult, sensitive, emotionally charged topicswith your partner in a productive way. One of the toughest parts of being in a couple is trying to have a conversation about a hot topica topic that's tough, sensitive, tricky, delicate, or emotionally charged in some way. When hot topics come up, it's not easy to stay open, curious, and connected. But it is possible! In this section, we'll give three crucial tips and three powerful tools that will help you handle hot topics more gracefully. Tips for Success Timing is Important When do hot topics arise? It's rarely during a perfect, serene moment, like when you're both well rested, fully hydrated, and calmly strolling together hand-in-hand by the seaside! That would be great, but that's typically not how things go. Instead, hot topics tend to arise when • You're both brushing your teeth • Driving through traffic • In the kitchen cooking or cleaning • At the dinner table with kids • Five minutes away from visiting the in-laws • Through a text message There you are brushing your teeth before bed and your partner says, By the way, I have to say yes or no to that promotion in Dallas by tomorrow. (You currently happily live in Seattle.) Choking on your toothpaste, you scramble for a reply. Or your spouse gives you a quick kiss on the cheek while running out the door, Oh, I'm not going to be able to make it to the kid's soccer game tonight, the boss called a project meeting. Before you can speak up to discuss your child's disappointment (not to mention, your own disappointment), again, your partner is out the door. Often, hot topics get brought up abruptlywhen neither one of you is really prepared! This is not ideal, but in couples, it happens all the time. It's no wonder these conversations don't go well. Creating the right time and space to have important conversations is vital. What's the solution? We recommend using common sense before you bring up a hot topic with your partner. If you need to discuss an important (or potentially life-changing) topic, try to choose a moment when you both have some time to actually talk and listen to one anotherso, in other words, not when one of you is dashing out the door. Some couples like to schedule a weekly check in. They put the time on the calendarsay, one hour, once a week--and if they've got a hot topic to discuss, they'll save it for this timeslot. Of course, life isn't a computer program. Sometimes schedules need to change or urgent things come up unexpectedly. That's okay. Just try, to the best of your abilities, not to bring up a hot topic when it's a really inopportune moment. It's just not productive. Resist the Urge to Fix It Quick When a hot topic comes upwhether it's an ideal moment to talk, or a less-than-ideal momentyou might notice that your first instinct is to fix it quick. It's natural to go to directly into problem solving mode. Heck, who likes the uncertainty of not knowing what's going to happen? No one. So, it's natural to think, What can I do to make this go away and get back to normal life? And so, your impulse is to fix it before even taking the time to listen to each other. Let's say you're running out the door. You notice that your spouse isn't happy with your manager's decision to call that project meeting right smack in the middle of the soccer game. So, you blurt out something, anything, to make it better: • Look, I'll make it up to herpromise. • This won't keep happeningthe big project will be done soon. • Let's plan to do a special family event over the weekend. Okay? These quick solutions are well-meaning and may even be viable options, but as you blurt out these quick fixes, you're missing the point. You've dropped a bomb on your partner who wasn't prepared. He (or sh…