How to Date Men When You Hate Men

Autorentext

Blythe Roberson

Klappentext

From New Yorker and Onion writer and comedian Blythe Roberson, How to Date Men When You Hate Men is a comedy philosophy book aimed at interrogating what it means to date men within the trappings of modern society.

Blythe Roberson's sharp observational humor is met by her open-hearted willingness to revel in the ugliest warts and shimmering highs of choosing to live our lives amongst other humans. She collects her crushes like ill cared-for pets, skewers her own suspect decisions, and assures readers that any date you can mess up, she can top tenfold. And really, was that date even a date in the first place?

With sections like Real Interviews With Men About Whether Or Not It Was A Date; Good Flirts That Work; Bad Flirts That Do Not Work; and Definitive Proof That Tom Hanks Is The Villain Of You've Got Mail, How to Date Men When You Hate Men is a one stop shop for dating advice when you love men but don't like them.

"With biting wit, Roberson explores the dynamics of heterosexual dating in the age of #MeToo"

• The New York Times

Inhalt

Introduction 000

1. Crushes 000
   Joy
   Crushes
   It's Not About You
   Boy Crazy
   One-Track Mind
   Interesting Topics to Think and Talk About That Are Not Some Dude You Hung Out with Two and a Half Times but Never Kissed
   Blurry-Faced Crushes
   Sure, Okay
   Man Management
   Categories for My Crush-Tracking App

2. Flirting 000
   Signals
   Text Interpretation
   Using My Four-Year College English Degree to Close-Read Texts from Men
   I Know It When I See It
   Men I Thought Were Flirting with Me, and Why
   Digital Flirting
   Good Flirts That Work
   Bad Flirts That Do Not Work
   Stealing
   Touching
   Missed Connections

3. Dating 000
   Defining The Date
   Ways to Make It Clear It's a Date
   Apps
   Good Analog Places to Meet Men
   Date the Person You Want to Be in the World
   Performative Chillness
   Ways to Kill Time While You're Waiting to Answer a Text
   Being Chill
   The Rules Versus My Rules If I Wrote a Dating How-To Book
   Talking To
   Schrödinger's Relationship
   This ISN'T a Date!

4. Psychic Wounds 000
   Men Weaponizing the Bechdel Test
   Scale of One to Ten
   A Better Ranking Scale, for Men I Am Into
   PDA
   Acceptable and Nonacceptable PDA Locations
   Will They or Won't They
   The Best Rom-Coms of All Time and How They Ruined Me
   Being Mean
   Hello, Its Mr. Nasty: Definitive Proof That Tom Hanks Is The Villain Of You've Got Mail
   Romantic Friendship
   Blah Blah Blah "My Girlfriend"
   Professionally Insecure Woke Boys
   Types of Men Who Are Bad
   Types of Men Who Are Great

5. Getting Serious 000
   "Defining" the "Relationship"
   Long-Distance
   Living Together
   Negotiables
   Marriage Is Bad and I Am for Sure Going to End Up Married to the First Person Who Asks Me

6. Breaking Up 000
   Love Is Fake
   Rejection Is Good
   Ways to Break Up with Someone You Aren't Dating
   Breakup Clichés
   Lines I Would Prefer Men Use When Rejecting Me
   Ghosting
   Internet Stalking
   What I Am Hoping Comes Up When I Internet Stalk People
   Pop Culture Anniversaries
   Getting Back Together
   Love Amnesia
   Oh, Haha, We Used to Kiss
   How to Get the Perfect Revenge Body

7. Being Single 000
   Full Tree
   Prose Before Bros
   Comfort
   When You Least Expect It

8. Making Art 000
   Making Art About Your Relationships
   Subtweets
   Subtweets, Arranged by Who They Are About
   People Making Art About You
   The Pay Is Certain

Conclusion 000
Acknowledgments 000