The Climb Up and Away

So, you think when you go before the judge you're going to get a fair and unbiased hearing? No, no, no, you silly billy! Unless you're pristinely clean and even then you have been weighed and measured before you even get in the dock. From the senior police officer who puts the word in to the prosecution, who then puts the word into the ear of the judge. He will even know what you've had for breakfast.

In my latest court case at Coventry Magistrates Court, I was charged with refusing to name the driver of a vehicle that I had sold, even though I had informed the police. The prosecution caught the eye of the judge and held it... Your honour, this is a difficult case... and there are more serious charges... The judge nodded imperceptibly... I was found guilty after 5 minutes. No witnesses. No press. You can guess what my chances are for an appeal. What serious charges? I've heard nothing...

In September an ex-tenant broke into my house with eight mates in balaclavas and robbed me. In April a plumber broke into one of my properties; stole a boiler and a waste trap. He admitted it on WhatsApp! In both cases the police have done nothing. No evidence you see...

The police pick on easy targets to get their results. If it's too difficult they turn away...