Every day, thousands of people receive a diagnosis of serious, life-threatening illness, and their families and friends suddenly become caregivers. Despite the best of intentions it is not always easy to communicate well under these circumstances, or find deep empathy for something one has never before experienced. When is it best to speak, and when to be silent? How can someone provide real comfort, and how can relationships with loved ones facing serious illness be enhanced in this most difficult time? This book is about how to be an encouraging caregiver and friend under the most difficult circumstances, when the possibility of death is all too real The authors believe that open dialogue must not be avoided until the last minute when opportunities will be limited, but that caregivers and loved ones can embrace this time, mortal time, honestly as a way to sensitively and compassionately engage with those for whom a central fact of life is realized--that all of our lives are time-limited. In The Art of Conversation Through Serious Illness, the authors consider how to best listen to and speak with one facing life-threatening illness, with lessons on being a primary conversation partner, becoming properly empathic and receiving empathy, maintaining everyday conversation, using platitudes appropriately, understanding healthy denial, and talking about dying. Offering bedside guidance usually only available to professionals and peppered with insightful anecdotes from the authors' own experiences, this gentle, succinct book is appropriate for anyone going through this uniquely difficult yet universal life experience.

Auteur

Richard P. McQuellon, Ph.D. is Professor of Medicine, Comprehensive Cancer Center of Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center. Michael A. Cowan, Ph.D. is Assistant to the President, Loyola University New Orleans, and Executive Director of Common Good, a network of civic organizations working to rebuild and transform post-Hurricane Katrina New Orleans.

Contenu

Acknowledgments Prologue Introduction Part I. The Many Meanings of Mortal Time Mortal Time: How Long Does it Last? The Multiple Meanings of Mortal Time Shattered Assumptions Creating Meaning Coping Styles What to Expect in Mortal Time The Challenge and the Invitation of Mortal Time A Question of Balance The Prospect of Despair Finding Meaning Living in Mortal Time Sources of Hope Nevertheless, There Is Meaning Part II. Hope from Conversation Hope for the Day Avoiding Gloom False Hope Conversation Healing Conversation: Basic Elements Talking In and About Mortal Time Conversation Partners Empathy Becoming Properly Empathetic Receiving Empathy Honesty: What Can I Say? The Right Words Acknowledging Fear Everyday Conversation with Friends Platitudes: Let's Hope for the Best and Prepare for the Worst You first! The Humane use of Words: Effective Phrases in Mortal Time How Much Time Do I Have? Appreciating Everyday Chatter Denial? Healthy Conversation about Dying Practical Conversation Part III. For Those Left Behind Being a Companion in Mortal Time Kind Companions The Costs and Risks of Companionship The Nine Personal Virtues Most Needed in Mortal Time Consideration and Disciplined Spontaneity Censored Conversation vs. Active Listening Closing: A Word to Caregivers Resilience and Absorbing Suffering Empathy Shift Sharing Mending The Art of Conversation through Serious Illness Notes Bibliography Index