Thicker Than Blood

The act of adopting children, and the processes and politics around it, have changed drastically in recent decades, mostly for the better. Still, many prospective adoptive parents remain bewildered or apprehensive, and those who have adopted find themselves struggling in ways they hadn't anticipated.

*Thicker Than Blood is a comprehensive yet down-to-earth look at adoptive parenting in the twenty-first century. Author Marion Crook's family includes two adopted sons; in her experience, adoptive parents need to acquire skills, knowledge, and a good sense of humor in order to deal with the emotional upheavals of raising adopted children.

The book looks at all facets of adoption, including its dark history over the past one hundred years when it was seen as a lower-class option for desperate parents, or when children were taken from single mothers against their will. Today, adoption is much more open-minded?LGBT adoptive parents and adoptive single parents are now commonplace?yet challenges linger, from adoptive children suffering from PTSD to those dealing with issues of anger and abandonment. Crook gently takes adoptive parents through the process of adoption from childhood to adulthood, helping to demystify the experience with compassion and reassurance.Meticulously researched but refreshingly free of academic jargon, *Thicker Than Blood will enlighten and empower adoptive parents and those who work with adopted children alike.**Marion Crook is the author of twenty-one previous books which include novels and nonfiction for both adults and young people, on such subjects as women's health, teen suicide, and body image.

Auteur

Marion Crook, PhD, is the author of twenty-one previous books which include novels and nonfiction books for both adults and young people, on such subjects as women's health, teen suicide, and body image. She is an adoptive parent and lives on the Sunshine Coast of British Columbia.

Contenu

Preface

Chapter One How the practice of adoption evolved

Early days to the 20th century
The notion of adopted children as lower class
Adoption and the changing law
The concept of secrecy
The promotion of inter-racial adoption
The Big Scoop and the residential schools for Aboriginal children
The resistance to inter-racial adoption
In Aboriginal communities
In Black communities
Matching children to parents
No more secrecy

Chapter Two The changing world of adoption
The 21st century
Open adoption. Including the birth parents
Types of adoption
Adoption process
Role of government agencies
Role of the birth mother in placement
Transracial placements. Placement of First Nations/Native American children
Affiliation with organizations
Affiliation with cultural groups and role models and the rise of focused organizations e.g LGBTQ families
Greater understanding of the emotional effect of adoption on adoptees
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in adoptees
Abandonment issues as a shared characteristic
Adoptee's relationship with society and effect of celebrity adoptions
Who is adoption serving
Adoption for profit
Importing children for adoption
Notion of "rehoming
Permanence of adoption

Chapter Three Why parents adopt

Desire for a family
Need for the interest, rewards and challenges of family life
Looking for strong emotional bonds expected with children
Diversity of composition, adoption now possible for many
LGBT parents, single parents, grandparents, racially different parents
Confidence in ability to create a family
Belief that adoption will be "as if born to"
Belief that differences of race will be accepted by society
Pressure from religious groups
Commitment to rescuing the "unfortunate"
What motivations serve children best

Chapter Four How capable are adoptive parents

Coping skills of parents
Negative
Denial
Reframing
Rescuing
Rejecting
Positive
Humour
Ability to seek professional advice
Ability to problem solve
Examples of positive adoptive families
What increases the chance of success
Training and education in adoption issues
Strong support system
Patience
Realistic expectations

Chapter Five The impact of adoption on the adoptive family

The Negatives
Parents' fears
Denial of difference
Parental expectations including the illusion of the "perfect family"
Inexperience
Financial costs
Stress on marital relationship
The Positives
The joy of family
Belief in love and money
The development of love and bonding
The pleasure of participating in the world of a child
The blossoming of the marital relationship

Chapter Six The needs and challenges of adoptees through the ages and how parents can help-- Overview
Generally
What adoptees need
What children notice
Common issues, including abandonment
Recognizing the child's feelings of alienation
What parents can do to assist their children through the ages
Provide information
Anticipate developmental needs
Make connections
Give love
Establish a defined position in the family
Keep them close
Understand the relationships of boys and the adoptive mother
Understand need for fathers
Deal with their own sense of failure, of not being a good enough parent

Chapter Seven The needs and challenges of adoptees through the ages and how parents can help-Specific ages
Specifically
What are the common concerns of adoptees through their ages and stages
Baby and Toddler
Elementary School Child
Teen
Young Adult

Chapter Eight Search and reunion

Available search possibilities
How do adoptive parents feel
How can they help
How to know what is best for your family
What results can you anticipate

Chapter Nine The Future

Increasing diversity of adoption family
Increasing cultural interactions
Changing searching methods
Practice of adoption agencies
Challenges to family coherence
Need for greater understanding of the early trauma of adoption
Trends, nationally and internationally