Smart Parenting for Smart Kids

WINNER! Mom's Choice Gold Award for parenting books -- Mom's Choice Awards: The best in family-friendly media "My kid is smart, but..."

It takes more than school smarts to create a fulfilling life. In fact, many bright children face special challenges:

• Some are driven by perfectionism;
• Some are afraid of effort, because they're used to instant success;
• Some routinely butt heads with authority figures;
• Some struggle to get along with their peers;

• Some are outwardly successful but just don't feel good about themselves.
  This practical and compassionate book explains the reasons behind these struggles and offers parents do-able strategies to help children cope with feelings, embrace learning, and build satisfying relationships. Drawing from research as well as the authors' clinical experience, it focuses on the essential skills children need to make the most of their abilities and become capable, confident, and caring people.

Auteur

The Authors

Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD, is a child and family clinical psychologist in Princeton, New Jersey. She is the author or coauthor of several books on children's feelings and friendships.

Mark S. Lowenthal, PsyD, has helped many children, teens, and their families during his twenty-two years as a clinical psychologist. His private practice is in Maplewood, New Jersey.

Contenu

Note to the Reader ix

Acknowledgments xi

Introduction: Rethinking Potential 1

1 Tempering Perfectionism: What Is "Good Enough"? 10

Michael: Focusing on flaws 13

Kirsten: Deflecting blame 20

Sam: Avoiding activities at which he doesn't excel 30

Angela: Feeling inadequate 33

2 Building Connection: How Does Your Child Reach Out to Others? 43

Andrew: Seeking an audience rather than a friend 48

Clay: Avoiding joining the group 55

Amalia: Feeling rejected by peers 63

3 Managing Sensitivity: How Does Your Child Handle Criticism, Conflict, and Disappointment? 80

Mario: Perceiving betrayal 83

Jessica: Balking at constructive feedback 90

Samir: Chafing at a change of plans 97

Collin: Shouldering the world's woes 109

4 Handling Cooperation and Competition: How Does Your Child Fit in a Group? 118

Steven: Insisting on his way 121

Anita: Being a sore loser 130

Misha: Fearing competition 138

Craig: Dealing with competition in the family 146

5 Dealing with Authority: How Does Your Child Respond to Those in Charge? 161

Lisa: Being blind to authority 164

Nicholas: Making everything an argument 177

Stephanie: Fretting about adults' anger 192

6 Developing Motivation: What Matters to Your Child? 200

Ethan: Avoiding schoolwork 203

Jared: Complaining that schoolwork is boring 208

Diane: Not applying herself in school 221

7 Finding Joy: What Makes Your Child Feel Happy? 238

Monica: Finding fault instead of fun 242

Conner: Searching for personal meaning 251

Conclusion: The Pressure to Perform Versus the Power to Grow 272

Selected References and Recommended Reading 277

About the Authors 291

Index 293