Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn't Work and What Will

The author discusses how parental overconcern with discipline can lead to adult dysfunction for a child later in life and argues for a better relationship with children based on communication, respect, and an emphasis on personal responsibility.

Auteur

Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D., received her doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University, New York. Dr. Shefali was exposed to Eastern philosophy at an early age and integrates its teachings with Western psychology. This blend of East and West allow her to reach a global audience and establishes her as one of a kind in the field of mindfulness psychology. She lectures extensively on mindful living and conscious parenting around the world and currently has a private psychotherapy practice in New York City. She has a strong following on social media, posts regularly on Huffington Post, and can be seen on uTube and Ted Talk. Her books include It's a Mom: What You Should Know about the Early Years of Motherhood and The Conscious Parent, which has been heavily endorsed by Oprah Winfrey. She lives in New York City.

Texte du rabat

Where did the belief come from that we need to discipline our children if they are to grow up into individuals who are well adjusted and who make something of their lives? Out of Control reveals how the very discipline we impose to control behavior is in reality a major cause of bad behavior, disrespect for adults, and dysfunction such as bullying, hostility toward family and society, drugs, alcoholism, and teen suicide. Dr Tsabary asserts that to parent effectively requires us to develop a deep connection with our children, so that we address the feelings that drive a child's behavior instead of punishing. "When we tackle the reason for the behavior,” says Dr Tsabary, "it automatically changes.” Far from a laissez-faire, "anything goes” approach, Dr Tsabary advocates for a high level of parental resolve that majors not in control, but in helping a child develop a sense of personal responsibility. Authentic connection, in which children can be real with their parents, leads to a home in which self-discipline prevails- both for the child and the parent. The need to "impose our will” on our children evaporates, leading to respect, ownership of one's life, and a strong character marked by a resilience that flows naturally from within.

Contenu

1 A World that Majors in Control 2 Why Discipline Doesn't Work 3 Is It Really for Your Child's "Own Good”? 4 Let Consequences Do Their Job 5 How Rescuing Our Children Teaches Irresponsibility 6 Rudeness, Biting, and Hitting: How to Make Your Child's Limits Clear 7 Your Children Are Here to Challenge Your Integrity 8 How to Say "Yes” or "No” Effectively 9 You're Not a Moviemaker 10 Abandon the Idea of Perfection 11 A Strong Child Lives Here 12 It's Not about You 13 Learn to Read Your Child's Cues 14 What It Means to Honor Your Child 15 Is What You Are Asking Fair? 16 How to Stay Sane as Your Child Goes Through Phases 17 Tricking Children Is Tricky Business 18 What to Do When Your Child Shuts You Out 19 The Rule about Rules 20 How to Respond to a Teen Who Rebels 21 Avoid Homework Battles 22 Why Do Children Bully? 23 The Challenge of Sibling Rivalry and Children Who Can't Get Along with Other Children 24 When You Spare the Rod, You Don't Spoil Your Child 25 In Defense of Parents 26 How to Be an Effective Parent 27 Let's Connect 28 W Is for Witness 29 I Is for Inquire 30 N Is for Neutrality 31 N Is for Negotiate 32 E Is for Empathize 33 R Is for Resolve Afterword Tips for Staying Sane in the Conflict Zone