Just Listen

Getting through to someone is a critical, fine art. Whether you are dealing with a harried colleague, a stressed-out client, or an insecure spouse, things will go from bad to worse if you can't break through emotional barricades and get your message thoroughly communicated and registered.Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and coach, author Mark Goulston combines his background with the latest scientific research to help you turn the "impossible" and "unreachable" people in their lives into allies, devoted customers, loyal colleagues, and lifetime friends.In Just Listen, Goulston provides simple yet powerful techniques you can use to really get through to people including how to: make a powerful and positive first impression; listen effectively; make even a total stranger (potential client) feel understood; talk an angry or aggressive person away from an instinctual, unproductive reaction and toward a more rational mindset; and achieve buy-in--the linchpin of all persuasion, negotiation, and sales. Whether they're coworkers, friends, strangers, or enemies, the first make-or-break step in persuading anyone to do anything is getting them to hear you out. The invaluable principles in Just Listen will get you through that first tough step with anyone.With this groundbreaking book, you will be able to master the fine but critical art of effective communication.

Auteur

Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA is a board-certified psychiatrist, fellow of the American Psychiatric Association, former assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA NPI, and a former FBI and police hostage negotiation trainer. He is the creator of Theory Y Executive Coaching—which he provides to CEOs, presidents, founders, and entrepreneurs—and is a TEDx and international keynote speaker. He is the creator and developer of Surgical Empathy, a process to help people recover and heal from PTSD, prevent suicide in teenagers and young adults, and help organizations overcome implicit bias. Dr. Goulston is the author or principal author of seven prior books, including Why Cope When you Can Heal: How Healthcare Heroes of COVID-19 Can Recover from PTSD, PTSD for Dummies, Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior, Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone, Real Influence: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In, and Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life. He hosts the My Wakeup Call podcast, where he speaks with influencers about their purpose in life and the wakeup calls that led them there. He also is the co-creator and moderator of the multi-honored documentary Stay Alive: An Intimate Conversation About Suicide Prevention.

He appears frequently as a human psychology and behavior subject-area expert across all media, including news outlets ABC, NBC, CBS, and BBC News, as well as CNN, Today, Oprah, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Fortune, Harvard Business Review, Business Insider, Fast Company, Huffington Post, and Westwood One.

Texte du rabat

Do you ever feel like you're talking to a brick wall?The first step in persuading anyone to do anything is getting them to hear you out. But whether the person is a cynical colleague, furious customer, or overwhelmed spouse, their emotional barriers may be blocking your message. And if you can't break through, you can't move forward.Just Listen has helped tens of thousands of people tear down walls and establish productive communication. In this landmark book, veteran psychiatrist and business coach Mark Goulston reveals simple, proven techniques for moving people from resistance to consensus, explaining how to:

• Listen effectively
• Make even a total stranger - perhaps a potential client - feel "felt"
• Shift an angry or aggressive person into a calmer, more receptive state
• Use empathy jolts to quickly bridge communication gaps
• Turn negative people into assets using the "Magic Paradox"
• Achieve buy-in, the linchpin of all negotiation, persuasion, and salesBarricades between people become barriers to success and happiness, so getting through is not just a fine art - it's a crucial skill. With Just Listen, readers learn how to transform the "impossible" and "unreachable" people in their lives into true allies, loyal customers, and lifelong friends.

Contenu

CONTENTS

Foreword by Keith Ferrazzi xiii

Preface to the Paperback Edition xv

Acknowledgments xvii

SECTION I The Secret to Reaching Anyone 1

1 Who's Holding YOU Hostage? 3

2 A Little Science: How the Brain Goes from "No” to "Yes” 14

SECTION II The 9 Core Rules for Getting Through to Anyone 25

3 Move Yourself from "Oh F#@& to OK” 27

4 Rewire Yourself to Listen 36

5 Make the Other Person Feel "Felt” 45

6 Be More Interested Than Interesting 55

7 Make People Feel Valuable 64

8 Help People to Exhale Emotionally and Mentally 69

9 Check Your Dissonance at the Door 77

10 When All Seems Lost—Bare Your Neck 87

11 Steer Clear of Toxic People 94

SECTION III 12 Easy-to-Use Tools for Achieving Buy-in and Getting Through 109

12 The Impossibility Question 111

13 The Magic Paradox 116

14 The Empathy Jolt 123

15 The Reverse Play, Empathy Jolt #2 132

16 "Do You Believe That?” 138

17 The Power of "Hmmm. . . .” 142

18 The Stipulation Gambit 150

19 From Transaction to Transformation 155

20 Side by Side 163

21 Fill in the Blanks 170

22 Take It All the Way to "No” 176

23 The Power Thank You and Power Apology 180

SECTION IV Fast Fixes for 7 Challenging Situations 187

24 The Team from Hell 189

25 Climbing the Ladder 194

26 The Narcissist at the Table 197

27 Stranger in Town 200

28 The Human Explosion 204

29 Getting Through to Yourself 209

30 Six Degrees of Separation 215

Afterword 221

Index 223

About the Author 231

Keynotes/Workshops 233