The Relationship Cure

Zusatztext "John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. In The Relationship Cure , he has found gold once again. This book shows how the simplest, nearly invisible gestures of care and attention hold the key to successful relationships with those we love and work with." -- William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart "This is the best book on relationships I have ever read -- a truly impressive tour-de-force. John Gottman has discovered the Rosetta Stone of relationships. He has decoded the subtle secrets contained in our moment-to-moment communications. By introducing the simple yet amazingly powerful concept of the "bid," he provides a remarkable set of tools for relationship repair. By the middle of the second chapter you're likely to say to yourself, "Oh, so that's what's happening in my relationship with my partner (or colleague, boss, or sister), and now I know what to do about it." -- Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D.,author of After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship " The Relationship Cure is another in John Gottman's superb series of books on improving intimate relationships. What distinguishes Gottman's writing from that of other self-help books is that it is based on research findings from his extensive studies. When he says his five steps will help you build better connections with the people you care about, you know that they have been demonstrated to work." -- E. Mavis Hetherington, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of Virginia " The Relationship Cure is both profound and practical, based on decades of research and clinical experience. The rich array of self-exploration exercises and guidelines offers a life-changing program for creating more rewarding emotional connections with friends, colleagues, and life partners." -- Shirley P. Glass, ABPP, author of Treating the Trauma of Infidelity " The Relationship Cure is engaging and imaginative. The deceptively simple but powerful concept of the 'emotional bid' reveals ways in which we can connect with significant others in our lives." -- Andrew Christensen, Ph.D., coauthor of Reconcilable Differences "I always expect to learn something from John Gottman, and I have never been disappointed. The Relationship Cure is original, insightful, and immensely helpful. I love the concept of emotional bids. Gottman not only helps the reader recognize how he or she may be short circuiting connection and communication, he gives them very good practical advice, as well as examples of wrong and right ways to deal with even the most aggressive or passive partner interaction." -- Pepper Schwartz, Profesor of Sociology, the University of Washington, Seattle and author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex is Wrong Informationen zum Autor John M. Gottman, Ph.D., and Joan DeClaire Klappentext From the country's foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life-with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work. Gottman provides the tools you need to make your relationships thrive. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman: - Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls "emotional connection" - Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional "bid," the fundamental unit of emotional connection - Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others' bids - And more! Packed with fascinating questionnaires and exercises developed in his therapy...

Auteur

John M. Gottman, Ph.D., and Joan DeClaire

Texte du rabat

From the country's foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life-with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work.

Gottman provides the tools you need to make your relationships thrive. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman:

• Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls "emotional connection"
• Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional "bid," the fundamental unit of emotional connection
• Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others' bids
• And more!

Packed with fascinating questionnaires and exercises developed in his therapy, The Relationship Cure offers a simple but profound program that will fundamentally transform the quality of all of the relationships in your life.

Résumé
From the country’s foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life—with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work.

Gottman provides the tools you need to make your relationships thrive. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman:

• Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls “emotional connection”
• Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional “bid,” the fundamental unit of emotional connection
• Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others’ bids
• And more!

Packed with fascinating questionnaires and exercises developed in his therapy, The Relationship Cure offers a simple but profound program that will fundamentally transform the quality of all of the relationships in your life.

Échantillon de lecture
Chapter 1

How We Connect Emotionally

A work team at one of Seattle's floundering Internet companies has a problem that's common in many workplaces: They can't communicate with their boss. If you catch a few team members at a local tavern after hours, you're likely to hear an exchange something like this:

"Joseph is the coldest fish I've ever worked for."

"I know what you mean. The other day I saw this picture of a little boy on his bulletin board and I said, 'Cute kid. Is that your son?' And he goes, 'No.' "

"And that was it?"

"Yeah. So I'm standing there wondering, 'Well, who is it then? Your nephew? Your stepson? Your love child?' "

"He's just so out of it. And to think we were so jazzed when we heard he was going to head the team, with that vaunted success record of his."

"He's smart, all right. But what good has it done us? We still haven't launched the site."

"That's because he has zero people skills. Have you noticed how all the other managers try to avoid him?"

"Yeah, that's what's screwing us up. We have no real standing in the company. I was hoping he could take our ideas up the ladder and we'd finally get the resources we need. But he never asks for our input. He never even asks if you've had a nice weekend."

"Remember when we moved to the new building and he decided to do away with private offices? He said we'd have an open floor plan to 'enhance communication.' What a crock!"

"Stop it, you guys. I feel sorry for him."

"Sorry for him? Why? He's the one with all the stock options!"

"Well, I think he wants to be a better boss-he just doesn't know how."

"Oh yeah? How can you tell?"

"I don't know. It's just a gu…