Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child

Zusatztext "A significant gift to parents and children." Common Boundary Informationen zum Autor John Gottman! Ph. D.! is a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the author of Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. Joan DeClaire is a Senior Editor for Microsoft´s Pregnancy and Childcare! an on-line consumer health-information service. Both authors live in Seattle. Klappentext Gottman draws on his studies of more than 120 families to zero in on the parenting techniques that ensure a child's emotional health. He then translates his methods into an easy, five-step "emotional coaching" program designed to help parents enrich the bond between themselves and their children. Chapter 1 Emotion Coaching: The Key to Raising Emotionally Intelligent Kids Diane is already late for work as she tries to coax three-year-old Joshua into his jacket so she can take him to daycare. After a too-quick breakfast and a battle over which shoes to wear, Joshua is tense too. He doesn´t really care that his mom has a meeting in less than an hour. He wants to stay home and play, he tells her. When Diane tells him that´s not possible, Joshua falls to the floor. Feeling sad and angry, he starts to cry. Seven-year-old Emily turns to her parents in tears just five minutes before the baby-sitter´s arrival. "It´s not fair to leave me with somebody I don´t even know," she sobs. "But Emily," her dad explains, "this sitter is a good friend of your mother´s. And besides, we´ve had tickets to this concert for weeks." "I still don´t want you to go," she cries. Fourteen-year-old Matt tells his mom he just got kicked out of the school band because the teacher smelled somebody smoking pot on the bus. "I swear to God it wasn´t me," Matt says. But the boy´s grades have been falling and he´s running with a new crowd. "I don´t believe you, Matt," she says. "And until you bring your grades up, you´re not going out." Hurt and furious, Matt flies out the door without a word. Three families. Three conflicts. Three kids at different stages of development. Still, these parents face the same problem -- how to deal with children when emotions run high. Like most parents, they want to treat their kids fairly, with patience and respect. They know the world presents children with many challenges, and they want to be there for their kids, lending insight and support. They want to teach their kids to handle problems effectively and to form strong, healthy relationships. But there´s a big difference between wanting to do right by your kids and actually having the wherewithal to carry it off. That´s because good parenting requires more than intellect. It touches a dimension of the personality that´s been ignored in much of the advice dispensed to parents over the past thirty years. Good parenting involves emotion. In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and ability to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships. For parents, this quality of "emotional intelligence" -- as many now call it -- means being aware of your children´s feelings, and being able to empathize, soothe, and guide them. For children, who learn most lessons about emotion from their parents, it includes the ability to control impulses, delay gratification, motivate themselves, read other people´s social cues, and cope with life´s ups and downs. "Family life is our first school for emotional learning," writes Daniel Goleman, psychologist and author of Emotional Intelligence, a book that describes in rich detail the scientific research that has led to our growing understanding of this field. "In this intimate cauldron we...

"A significant gift to parents and children."—Common Boundary

Auteur

John Gottman, Ph. D., is a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the author of Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. Joan DeClaire is a Senior Editor for Microsoft's Pregnancy and Childcare, an on-line consumer health-information service. Both authors live in Seattle.

Texte du rabat

Gottman draws on his studies of more than 120 families to zero in on the parenting techniques that ensure a child's emotional health. He then translates his methods into an easy, five-step "emotional coaching" program designed to help parents enrich the bond between themselves and their children.

Résumé
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child is John Gottman’s groundbreaking guide to teaching children to understand and regulate their emotional world.

Intelligence That Comes from the Heart

Every parent knows the importance of equipping children with the intellectual skills they need to succeed in school and life. But children also need to master their emotions. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child is a guide to teaching children to understand and regulate their emotional world. And as acclaimed psychologist and researcher John Gottman shows, once they master this important life skill, emotionally intelligent children will enjoy increased self-confidence, greater physical health, better performance in school, and healthier social relationships. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child will equip parents with a five-step “emotion coaching” process that teaches how to:

-Be aware of a child´s emotions
-Recognize emotional expression as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching
-Listen empathetically and validate a child´s feelings
-Label emotions in words a child can understand
-Help a child come up with an appropriate way to solve a problem or deal with an upsetting issue or situation

Written for parents of children of all ages, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child will enrich the bonds between parent and child and contribute immeasurably to the development of a generation of emotionally healthy adults.

Échantillon de lecture
Chapter 1

Emotion Coaching: The Key to Raising Emotionally Intelligent Kids

Diane is already late for work as she tries to coax three-year-old Joshua into his jacket so she can take him to daycare. After a too-quick breakfast and a battle over which shoes to wear, Joshua is tense too. He doesn´t really care that his mom has a meeting in less than an hour. He wants to stay home and play, he tells her. When Diane tells him that´s not possible, Joshua falls to the floor. Feeling sad and angry, he starts to cry.

Seven-year-old Emily turns to her parents in tears just five minutes before the baby-sitter´s arrival. "It´s not fair to leave me with somebody I don´t even know," she sobs. "But Emily," her dad explains, "this sitter is a good friend of your mother´s. And besides, we´ve had tickets to this concert for weeks." "I still don´t want you to go," she cries.

Fourteen-year-old Matt tells his mom he just got kicked out of the school band because the teacher smelled somebody smoking pot on the bus. "I swear to God it wasn´t me," Matt says. But the boy´s grades have been falling and he´s running with a new crowd. "I don´t believe you, Matt," she says. "And until you bring your grades up, you´re not going out." Hurt and furious, Matt flies out the door without a word.

Three families. Three conflicts. Three kids at different stages of development. Still, these parents face the same problem -- how to deal with children when emotions run high. Like most parents, they want to treat their kids fairly, with patience and respect. They know the world presents children with many challenges, and they want to be there for their kids, lending insight and support. They want to teach their kids to handle problems effectively and to form strong, healthy relationships. But there´s a big difference between wanting to do right by your kids and actually having the whe…