Working with Difficult People

Informationen zum Autor AMY COOPER HAKIM, PhD, is the founder of The Cooper Strategic Group, a management consulting firm that specializes in training and development, targeted hiring, and survey design and analysis. As an Industrial/Organizational psychology practitioner she provides solutions to make businesses run smoothly and help employers find, maintain, and effectively utilize top-notch employees. MURIEL SOLOMON worked in communications for over 40 years. She taught her "Strategic Talking" method to companies throughout the United States, and wrote a syndicated column for the Miami Herald for many years. Klappentext A revised edition of the classic guide on how to best resolve conflict in today's technologically advanced workplace. Your work day is filled with them--people who frustrate! impede! maneuver! undermine! plot! connive! and whine. This indispensable guide details specific techniques for handling all of them! with easy-to-follow scenarios for every situation. Updated and revised to reflect modern issues including technology! generation gaps! and language barriers! this guide describes 10 kinds of culprits! from tyrants and bullies (regular and cyber) to the pushy and presumptuous to connivers and camouflagers; and offers helpful strategies and phrases for diffusing workplace tensions and effectively resolving conflicts. CHAPTER 1 WHEN YOUR BOSS IS BELLIGERENT Narcissists Bullies Ruthless Monsters First, let's admit it: We've all pulled idiotic maneuvers, and, frankly, we deserved it when the boss got enraged. Managers correct mistakes. That's their right. But no one can give a boss the right to call you an ignoramus, especially in front of an audience. Somehow you have to reduce the abuse dished out by narcissistic, bullying, or heartless villains. Telling them off and storming out in a huff won't help. The fleeting satisfaction you receive from landing a verbal punch is a luxury you can't afford. We're going to look at a better method for letting go of the hurt and going after what's really important to you: getting ahead in your job. You'll choose different strategies, depending on whether or not the boss is intentionally hostile. Either way, you can't assume you know what bosses want from you; they themselves must tell you what's on their minds. However, you can't reason with the enraged. Wait until the boss calms down, then talk it over and, at least, agree on objectives. Listen hard, plot your strategy, and think before you speak up. That's how to handle a hostile boss. Narcissists Narcissists are ego-driven, big-headed, cold-blooded individuals who expect total loyalty from others without being loyal in return. Narcissistic bosses take all the credit for any successes at work and lash out at those who do not demonstrate their trustworthiness. They are sneaky because they outwardly appear cool, calm, and collected. Yet those who know them feel that they are ticking time bombs and tiptoe around them so as not to be in their path. Narcissists have the uncanny ability to make you feel like gold one moment and like dirt the next. When they explode, it's with a no-holds-barred attitude. Anything is fair game, including exposing information that was shared in private. Of course, your boss should expect loyalty. However, not knowing when you will be in the "hot seat" is demoralizing and unnerving. What You're Thinking When I took this job, I had no idea that my polished boss could be so mean! I've learned that my day is much more pleasant if I can stay below his radar. Knowing that my actions are constantly being scrutinized has me jumping out of my skin. Just the other day, my boss praised me privately and then outwardly embarrassed me five minutes later because he felt that I crossed him. What's next? Why is he so flippant and hypercritical? A Narcis...

Auteur
AMY COOPER HAKIM, PhD, is the founder of The Cooper Strategic Group, a management consulting firm that specializes in training and development, targeted hiring, and survey design and analysis. As an Industrial/Organizational psychology practitioner she provides solutions to make businesses run smoothly and help employers find, maintain, and effectively utilize top-notch employees.

MURIEL SOLOMON worked in communications for over 40 years. She taught her "Strategic Talking" method to companies throughout the United States, and wrote a syndicated column for the Miami Herald for many years.

Texte du rabat

A revised edition of the classic guide on how to best resolve conflict in today's technologically advanced workplace.

Your work day is filled with them--people who frustrate, impede, maneuver, undermine, plot, connive, and whine. This indispensable guide details specific techniques for handling all of them, with easy-to-follow scenarios for every situation.

Updated and revised to reflect modern issues including technology, generation gaps, and language barriers, this guide describes 10 kinds of culprits, from tyrants and bullies (regular and cyber) to the pushy and presumptuous to connivers and camouflagers; and offers helpful strategies and phrases for diffusing workplace tensions and effectively resolving conflicts.

Échantillon de lecture
CHAPTER 1

WHEN YOUR BOSS IS BELLIGERENT

Narcissists

Bullies

Ruthless Monsters

First, let's admit it: We've all pulled idiotic maneuvers, and, frankly, we deserved it when the boss got enraged. Managers correct mistakes. That's their right.

But no one can give a boss the right to call you an ignoramus, especially in front of an audience. Somehow you have to reduce the abuse dished out by narcissistic, bullying, or heartless villains. Telling them off and storming out in a huff won't help. The fleeting satisfaction you receive from landing a verbal punch is a luxury you can't afford.

We're going to look at a better method for letting go of the hurt and going after what's really important to you: getting ahead in your job. You'll choose different strategies, depending on whether or not the boss is intentionally hostile. Either way, you can't assume you know what bosses want from you; they themselves must tell you what's on their minds.

However, you can't reason with the enraged. Wait until the boss calms down, then talk it over and, at least, agree on objectives. Listen hard, plot your strategy, and think before you speak up. That's how to handle a hostile boss.

Narcissists

Narcissists are ego-driven, big-headed, cold-blooded individuals who expect total loyalty from others without being loyal in return.

Narcissistic bosses take all the credit for any successes at work and lash out at those who do not demonstrate their trustworthiness. They are sneaky because they outwardly appear cool, calm, and collected. Yet those who know them feel that they are ticking time bombs and tiptoe around them so as not to be in their path.

Narcissists have the uncanny ability to make you feel like gold one moment and like dirt the next. When they explode, it's with a no-holds-barred attitude. Anything is fair game, including exposing information that was shared in private.

Of course, your boss should expect loyalty. However, not knowing when you will be in the "hot seat" is demoralizing and unnerving.

What You're Thinking

When I took this job, I had no idea that my polished boss could be so mean! I've learned that my day is much more pleasant if I can stay below his radar. Knowing that my actions are constantly being scrutinized has me jumping out of my skin. Just the other day, my boss praised me privately and then outwardly embarrassed me five minutes later because he felt that I crossed him. What's next? Why is he so flippant and hypercritical?

A Narcissist's Thoughts

I'm responsible for this whole team. None of these workers would be anywhere without me. I can be someone's best friend or worst enemy. If people cross the line…