Pains on Trains

Pains on Trains is the perfect way to take the tedium out of
commuting, guaranteed to become as indispensable to the seasoned
traveller as the blow-up pillow and water sterilising
tablets.

In Pains on Trains, Andrew Holmes and Matthew Reeves set their
sights on the scourge of the modern office worker - other office
workers who clog up trains, buses, boats and planes with their
annoying habits and depressing clothes. Pains on Trains is
dedicated to the rush-hour veteran and consists of a
'pain-spotting' guide to the very worst people you meet on your
daily commute. Each painful character is illustrated in their usual
context and supported by a short narrative.

Autorentext

Andrew Holmes is a writer, serial commuter, gadfly and
collector of stories and observations about the people around him.
He spends far too much time on trains for his own good and is
seeking professional help to overcome the obsessive-compulsive
disorders that have resulted. He likes to spend as much time as
possible with his family - assuming he ever gets home of course.

Matt Reeves lives and works somewhat beyond the M25.
Rumours that he is the model for 'The Creative' as featured in this
book are grossly over-exaggerated. Working on this project has
given Matt a more detailed understanding of the UK rail system and
its commuters than he would have ideally liked. All proceeds
derived by Matt from this book will be put towards his helicopter
fund.

Zusammenfassung
Pains on Trains is the perfect way to take the tedium out of commuting, guaranteed to become as indispensable to the seasoned traveller as the blow-up pillow and water sterilising tablets.

In Pains on Trains, Andrew Holmes and Matthew Reeves set their sights on the scourge of the modern office worker - other office workers who clog up trains, buses, boats and planes with their annoying habits and depressing clothes. Pains on Trains is dedicated to the rush-hour veteran and consists of a 'pain-spotting' guide to the very worst people you meet on your daily commute. Each painful character is illustrated in their usual context and supported by a short narrative.

Inhalt

Preface 6

Acknowledgements 8

Trial by Commuting 10

The Beggar 16

The Belligerent 20

The Born in a Stable 24

The Broadsheet 28

The City Boy 32

The Clique 36

The Creative 40

The Deadbeat 44

The Death Breath 48

The Double Seater 52

The Drunk 56

The Engager 60

The Enquirer 64

The Family 68

The Fast Fooder 72

The Flamboyant Groin 76

The Gadget 80

The Gaggle 84

The Group 88

The Hero 92

The High-flier 96

The Late Starter 100

The Lovers 104

The Make Up Artist 108

The Mammoth 112

The Mobile Phoner 116

The New Worker 120

The Night Clubbers 124

The Nose Picker 128

The Nutter 132

The Over Your Shoulder 136

The Pervert 140

The Phantom Farter 144

The Reservist 148

The Ritualist 152

The Sardine Packer 156

The Sleeper 160

The Social Climber 164

The Spinster 168

The Starer 172

The Stinker 176

The Stretcher 180

The Territorialist 184

The Texter 188

The Toff 192

The Train Timer 196

The Traveller 200

The Vomiter 204

The Wheeled Caser 108

The Youth 212

Afterword 216